WHAT MAKES YOU A MAN ?

KRAKOW POLAND.

August 20th 2013.

We are going out.

It’s hard here. Girls are intimidating. That’s what’s good with international travel. You have to adapt to different type of girls, cultures . . .

It takes some time to get warmed up. We approach some girls. Mine is a hot older girl. Until a chose come and told me I have to stop dragging her … He doesn’t like my physical game. I acknowledge him, saying hello blah blah. And go back to the girls. They go in a club. I don’t want to pay. We go somewhere else.

Find those two Australian girl. Drag them in a karaoke. They were suppose to go meet some dude but we stole them away. It’s gong nowhere they disappear.

I talk to a romanian blonde. Tight body. Hot face. We sing. We make out. She has to work in the morning. Can’t her to take me home with her. We say in hostel. Shared room. So it’s tough to pull. And for a girl to invite you in her house, she has to be so into you that she could bang you on the spot.

We move somewhere else. More approach. Both make out with two local girl. Until Ryan go for the DONG GRAB. His girl freak out. Pull mine away. Fuck it.

In the street we start talking to some girls when a local dude that look like a drug addict with fucked up teeth start interrupting us.

He speak to me in Polish. He is drunk. I don’t understand. The girl leave. We feel the shit. He try to slap me for no reason. I stop his hand. He his with 5 friends.

One if his friend comes to Ryan and he is so drunk he fall on the floor.

Me and Ryan stand there. Saying that everything is cool. They keep on coming at us tryin to slap us. We start walking away. They follow us for like 100 meters. Trying to get us to fight. We ignore.

AFTER THAT I FEEL LIKE KILLING THE CUNTS.

But I did nothing. I learned in my retreat I the Tibetan monastery that violence is nt an option.
When one. His slap got me. My fist clenched, and I felt like pinchig the dude as hard as I could in the face.
But I Took a deep breath in and left. We could see in the background the other friends waitin for us to fight so they could jump on us.

After this I really felt like a bitch. I asked myself and Ryan ” Are we not man ? Are we bitches for walking away ?”

Some might say yes. But I think that real man don’t fight. Real man walk away. Unmoved. Are able to move on.

So straight after we approach more girls. Until we wen to bed.

I still fill a bit shit about it. But it’s all about my ego. My man ego. FUCK THAT. WALK AWAY FROM THE EGO AND NEGATIVITY. I WILL NOT FIGHT.

Peace mofos

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Going pass the sexual needs

It used to hitch me.
I was in places where girls were not to my taste. No parties. No action. No sex.
And it made me feel angry, unsatisfied, sad, sick. I had this constant need of validation, pleasure. The fact that I stopped masturbating wasn’t helping in this case. I felt I was boiling. Ready to explode (if you are going out in an environment full of women, then abstinence from masturbation helps. It gives you more intent. More energy. More power)

Now it’s been nearly a month since the last time I blew my load. BUT I FEEL GOOD

After spending 10 days at Kopan Monastery, I learn that I was chasing sense pleasure
And the problem with those sense pleasures is that they give you short term satisfaction. And after a few hours you want more.
Like food when you are really hungry. You eat, the first bites make you feel amazing. At peace. Happy. And then you start to get full and the pleasure is gone.

The solution, as simple as it is, is to know that real happiness can only be found inside. By living HERE AND NOW.

As much as I’d like to have sex with 2 amazingly looking Turkish women right now in a steaming Hammam, I know that it’s not the answer. I should just chill in the moment, be mindful of everything I’m doing, meditate.

Meditation helped a lot as well. It doesn’t mean that I should stop going out and chill in a park all my life. But just when the girls, party, possibilities are not there, or when you look at girls without taking action during the day, instead of worrying and building sexual pressure, just breath in deep, enjoy
It, accept it fully.

Now I do my best to walk around town, with the Buddha smile on my face, being present and mindful. And people get dragged in. Open conversation. Girls smile back at me. An I don’t feel any block.

BE HERE NOW, SMILE AND SHARE THE LOVE HAHA

Maxime.

MEDITATION RETREAT

10 days meditation retreat and Tibetan budhisme class at the Kopan Monastery. Nepal.

Day 1 :

I arrived in the monastery from the busy neighborhood of kathmandu after a soft night of partying. I’m welcomed by a nice monk, inspirational quote on the wall and a code of
Good conduct forbiding me from:

killing, stealing, lying, sexual miscounduct, and use of intoxicant

After I signed, got my guitar gently taken from me (not allowed), I can’t help but notice as I right my name on the list, that there’s a clear majority of girl taking the class. A lot of hot one !!!

NO SEXUAL CONDUCT. I’m here caus I want some kind of rehab from girls and sex. I’m tired of getting no satisfaction.

So I stay away. As I go for tea in the dinning hall I try to seat down far away from girls. Until some started to seat next to me. Cute ones. So I made my best not to speak with them . . . 2 min later I was giving the ” I want you” eye contact to every nice girl haha.

6pm: introduction to the monastery and what we will learn by our teacher, a Swedish none who’s been there since the 70’s

7pm: dinner. Start chatting up a cute and sweet Australian hippy.

8pm: first meditation. Was hard but nicely guided.

Day 2, 3, 4

The planing is :

5.45 am wake up and tea, 6.30 am meditation, 7.30 breakfast, then teaching, lunch, break, teaching, tea, meditation, Dinner, meditation and Q&A, then at 9 BED

SILENCE from morning to lunch. No communication.

In this 4 days I realized that :

– I like budhisme
– Buddha is not a god
– meditation helps a lot
– I have to take what I can take from the teaching but some of it is religious Dogma.
– I should not harm any being and I should spread happiness around me through compassion and wisdom.
– I came up pretty quickly with a technic to wipe my ass with only water and soap.

On a girl side. I became pretty close with the oz girl. But because of monastery rules and rules I gave to myself I don’t close. So she’s getting really into me.
The fact that I’m also Getting into this 29 years old actress from New York is not helping. And on the 4th day I started fancying a third girl. Loosing attraction for the Oz one.

ALL THAT WITH NO SEX. I feel like I’m 10 again. But with game haha.
I guess it’s a good training to create rapport and comfort with a girl.

The day went by and my faith in Buddhism grew until I decided to take refuge and officially becoming a Buddhists.

I Learn so much and meditation gave me a lot.

Our whole group went partying after. I stayed totally sober. Web onstage in this bar and sang a few rock song to my friends. They fed me so much good energy that I went crazy and had my best stage experience.

I have a BIG ego problem. Caus I live an awesome life, and I love telling stories, I end up spreading too much, and trying to impress. I should keep more in. Say less.

Now I need to meditate everyday a little bit. Keep the good habit. Spread love and compassion. And offer my karmic seeds to te women of the world

Taking my flight for turkey in a few hour. See you there

Maxime

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WHEN YOU OBEY THE DICE

When I was in Pai, Thailand, my good friend Harry introduce me to the dice.
He was simply asking a dice to make decision for him. I felt really curious and I wanted to know more.

It all come from a book named

THE DICEMAN

By Luke Rhinehart

The principle are simple, you give the dice from 1 to 6 option. It could be a destination, something to do, someone to be, someone to fuck ….
You basically relieve yourself of all responsibilities. (and so much more if you read the book)

You know this hard feeling you got when you want to go to bed but in the room next door sleep a hot girl you flirted with all day, an you don’t know if you should talk to her. THROW THE DICE. NO MORE DILEMA

So I wake up yesterday morning at 7.20 am ready to leave Phokara, direction Kathmandu.

How should I go ? Hitch hiking, local buses ( little overpacked bouncy shitty bus that take 8 hours to do 300 km) or tourist bus.

One throw of the dice and I’m set for a tourist bus. TURNS OUT they all leave the bus station at 7.30 so I’m to late.

At this point I feel like goin by hitch hiking BUT the last time I didn’t respect a dice decision, Karma got me. (I was suppose to stay sober all day, but by 10pm I smoked a joint and it killed me. I felt like shit …)

So I decide to stay one more day and leave on the morrow.

HERE COME THE SURPRISE.

I move my stuff to Pierre’s room and he is sharing it with a cute German girl.
We start chatting and we all go to that little cafe to chill and get stone.

Over there I make my sloppy moves. Raspberries on her belly, declaration of love …

Then the evening time comes, and she goes to the room to get some of he stuff. Myself I just seat here with my friend doing nothing. Until I remember that I have to wash my hair. So I ask the dice if I should go now. YES.

I GO. Find myself in the room with little German cutty. Ask her to help me for the shampoo and shower. We kiss. And she did help me in the shower. And later that night before I went to sleep.
No sex caus period, but we still had some fun.

Now I’m really on my way to Kathmandu.
Tomorrow I’m gonna start a 10 days Tibetan meditation class. Hopping that it will help me with some of my obsession, insecurities and such.

I’m still alive. In Nepal

Hello hello.

I haven’t posted in a whole so there I is do you, a brief summary of my last 2 month.

SRI LANKA

I had an amazing time. Surfing. Traveling. Spending time with my parents.
I felt like traveling with my dad made me regress in my progress. Like I became daddy’s boy again. Really felt that my confidence suffered from it.

GIRLS
One Swedish girl. Super tall. I thought she was traveling with her boyfriend. Turned out to be just a friend. So we hooked up a few time.

One Danish girl. I managed to pull her in a room that I was sharing with my dad. In the morning he brought us breakfast in bed. TOP DAD.
After a few days this girl became to attached. One night when I was really pissdrunk I fought with her. Made her cry. And ended up at 8 in the morning, making sand castle with a friend, after a full night I party.

NEPAL

NEPAL IS GREAT.

But we smoke too much.
And when I’m high I lose my intent, I lose the devil in me.
Still I hooked up with that English girl.

We met at a trance festival where, in the beginning ttys night we made out. Middle of the night I was so drunk and fucked that I scream to her

go wash your cunt so I can eat it all night

She didn’t like that and left freaked out. She was high on Acid.

4 days later I randomly see her. Start talking again. We laugh. We kiss. We FUCK.

I’m now on my way to a 10 day meditation course. I hope to get from it a calmness of mind. Freedom from outcome. Pure love.

AND AFTER THAT,

TIME TO PILLAGE EUROPE STARTING BY TURKEY

So if I come by your country and you wan to party. Send me a mail on the facebook page. PILLAGE THE WORLD

cheers.

Maxime

Drinking Epiphany

Hello. 

I am back in Siem Reap Cambodia for 10 days. Just to kill time before I fly from Bangkok to Sydney.

I went out 2 days ago, started drinking, then around midnight, I had no more money in my pocket. (I have a $5 to $10 a day budget) I started to became sober. And I had a shitty night. I slowly realize that when I was going out drunk, my crazy dancing monkey personality is not real. It’s just a way to attract attention. And most of the night I went out drunk, I scared girls away, freak them out.

Actually for this trip, most of my pull, and close were when I was sober. So for a day I started wrestling with my dick and my mind. My dick wants to go out and hunt for pussy, but my mind is like ”DUDE, thats so sad that you cant party if they are no girls around” I want to be able to party like a Married guy. Just enjoy the time with my mates. And if I find an attractive girl, approach. But stop being so NEEDY.

SO yesterday I went out SOBER. And I had a blast. Danced like a mother fucker. Meet a skinny 29 years old California girl. Pull. And she turned out to be married, so we just touch each other, and then she gave me a massage, and told me about some meditation Technics.

SO IT IS ANNOUNCED. 

On the 30th of november, for my 22nd birthday. Me, Maxime Cassady Kaci, will officialy stop drinking, eat healthy, meditate and do more yoga.

Ryan right now is in Thailand. We could have met there if I hadn’t lost my passport.

I’m SAD TO SEE THAT THIS WANKER IS NOT POSTING SHIT, AND I’M SURE HE IS PULLING ASSES. Mostly trannies and 80 years old Thai Women

Cheerios

PS: Gonna do happy pizza again on Monday. Gonna be fun